If you’re part of The Inner Circle on Facebook, you’ll have seen me post a video on comfort zones earlier this week, and it was so powerful that I’ve decided to share it on the blog too.
What most of us think about when we consider comfort zones isn’t a place that’s inherently bad. It’s a place that’s quite easy and cosy, it’s not necessarily harming us, it just isn’t pushing us to grow.
However there can be a darker side to comfort zones.
Negative comfort zones can manifest when we are so used to being in negative situations that they become the norm for us, and in a bid to feel safe, our subconscious then continues to seek out these toxic dynamics.
A perfect example of this might be someone who keeps finding themselves in relationships with negative, toxic or even abusive people. What somebody else may see as a red flag with these people has actually become a subconscious source of comfort for the individual, because it’s what they know, it’s familiar, and even thought it’s not serving them, it feels safe to the subconscious mind.
These dynamics can present in so many other ways, it could be with romantic and platonic relationships, addictions, eating habits, victim mindsets, identification with pain or illness, the lone wolf dynamic or even being drawn to drama.
So, what do I do if I’ve identified a negative comfort zone, I hear you ask?
The first step if always acknowledging the issue, so well done! Next, you need to ask yourself a few questions:
• what is it about this dynamic that feels safe and familiar to me?
• when was the first time I experienced this dynamic?
• what did it mean to me then?
• what does it mean to me now?
• what are the consequences of continuing with this pattern?
• where could I be if I break this pattern?
Take some time with a notebook and pen, and really go deep on these questions. Once you have some answers, take some time to reflect on them before you move on to the next step, which is to get really specific with your comfort zone.
If we take the initial example of somebody drawn to abusive relationships, they may need to educate themselves on what the red flags are, and go really slowly with relationships instead of diving straight in. But whatever your comfort zone is, your steps are going to be unique to you.
If you need help identifying your comfort zone and how to break free from it, get in touch hello@mossandmoon.co.uk to discuss coaching sessions.
If you enjoyed this post and want to gain access to my private Facebook group where I post videos on topics like this, head over to The Inner Circle and click Join.
Have a great week,
Cheryl
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