What if I told you that it's not simply the experiences we have in life that shape us, but how we choose to see them?
Life will always come with it's challenges. Some of us will experience more than others in our lifetimes and the facts of those situations can't be changed. It's even true that after some experiences we may never be the same again, but what if we can take those experiences and make them mean something that makes us stronger than we were before? Our power lies in how we tell the story to ourselves and as a result, we change the impact on our lives moving forward.
When we think of experiences we've had, we don't just bring up the cold, hard facts. We bring in emotions and apply a story and meaning around it. We paint ourselves in a certain light in relation to that experience and it is that perspective which ultimately shapes how we present ourselves to the world. We can either apply a meaning and a story line which empowers us and moves us forward, or one that saps us of our power and holds us back. Even the worst life experiences can be re-framed to find some small silver lining, blessing or lesson contained within them. In this post I'm going to share with you a quick exercise to help you to start challenging your own perspective.
Take a moment now to think of a few of the key moments in your life that have shaped you into who you are now. What are you telling yourself outside of the facts? What are you making this event mean about you/others going forward? Is this perspective helpful and empowering? What is holding on to this perspective costing you?
For any of the events that you've identified where you don't have a helpful and empowering outlook, ask yourself the following questions to help identify what the silver lining may be, however small:
- What did I learn from this experience?
- What can I take from this that could help others?
- Did something positive eventually come as a result of the negative experience?
- Is there a bigger picture here that I've not seen yet?
- How have I grown as an individual because of this experience?
- What purpose does it give me?
- How can I use this for good?
Now, re-write your story, this time coming from a place of empowerment.
Notice how although the facts of the situation haven't changed, your feelings and emotions about what that means about you have. Which story is the one that you would like to be remembered for? How will you behave and take different action now than you did before?
Have a great week,
Cheryl
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